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February 19, 2008

7:36 AM

Saturn

Standing glistening golden in the sun,

His breaths come quickly in anticipation

Of our ride.

His eyes sparkle alive as

I swing my leg over his broad back.

In tandem we lope to meet the horizon

Gathering the green rolling hills and pastures as we go.

 

Feeling the refreshing breeze

And sun’s warmth on my face,

All stress and thoughts drift away,

Leaving only this moment and

Hills yet to conquer.   

 

13 user comments.

Posted by kharden:

What is the experience I'm describing?
What words or phrases do you think I really tried to choose carefully? Can you think of anything I could add? Is there anything confusing? What area(s) on the scoring sheet would I have less than a 4 on? Thanks.
February 19, 2008 @ 7:41 AM

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To me its like you and your husband were on a bicycle ride
February 19, 2008 @ 9:40 AM

Posted by krystal:

i thought you were riding your house on a good day. I liked the poem.
February 19, 2008 @ 10:09 AM

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